A Mother-daughter relationship can be complicated and also empowering. Being different than other women is not a bad thing even if it is your mother. Growing up I wanted to be the opposite of my mother. So is being different than your mom bad? Growing up did you fight with your mom and decide you would never be like her? That was me, it sounds harsh but read on and you will understand that being different than your mom or any other woman is okay. As women we should be who we are truly meant to be, learning from other women and not judging each other. Mother-Daughter Relationship
There is so much of my mom in me and I love every piece I got from her. My Mom is a superhero. My mom is the greatest and I Lover Her SO Much! Do you think yours is? No really, my mom is a saint, selfless, caring and most honest person there is. My mom no matter what circumstances always is dressed nicely, fashionable and loves her jewelry.
What I Gained From Mom
When I think about how much my mom has sacrificed for her family it is mind-boggling. Honestly, it makes me feel very selfish that I don’t sacrifice enough for my own family. My mom is someone that empowers me every day. From my mom I gained my honesty, to wear earrings every day, optimism, and my negotiating strengths. She and I have more in common… she is obsessed with Elvis and I am obsessed with George Strait. The mother-daughter relationship can be good.
Tailgating Iowa State Football
My mom, sister and I sat down for a discussion a few weeks ago. This is when I admitted to my mother I didn’t want to be like her. Harsh… yes, I know. Mother-daughter relationships can be complicated. The true meaning of this statement was my mom gave everything of herself to others. Last to the dinner table, always cooking, doing dishes, serving my dad his meals and NO MATTER what giving up her wants and dreams. The biggest things I didn’t want to do when I grew up was to serve my husband his meals and do dishes.
Please don’t take this the wrong way I know many women that are happy to serve their husbands their meals but that wasn’t for me. If you ask my husband, he will say the goal accomplished. A mother-daughter relationship grows in so many directions. My mom loves the beach which she never saw until she was 60 years old. I want to travel the world. She never thought she would see the Golden Gate Bridge. I want to see all of the greatest things in the United States.
Mom on San Fransico Bridge. Girl’s Trip! She would have walked the entire bridge if I would of let her.
BK, Mom, & Dana (my sister)
Mom’s Love For Her Family
The key here is my mom loves this and she is so happy to be married over 50 years, 5 children, 11 grandchildren, and one great-grandchild. She is happy watching all of us and I don’t think she ever says No if we ever need anything or if the grandkids want her macaroni & cheese or beef & noodles. For supper, she would always make multiple vegetables because a few of us hated green beans and the others hated peas.
I wanted to run the world and tell everyone else what to do. My family is the most important thing to me and I have worked very hard to have my 2 kids and my marriage of 25 years. I love my family more than anything. Does this make me a bad person because I am different than my mom NO! Some of my best qualities are learned from my mother and I wouldn’t change that at all! We are all INDIVIDUALS. Read more about Strait on Track https://straitontrack.com/empowered-women/
My mom has no regrets. Does she have dreams absolutely! She is the oldest of 5 kids that grew up on a long lane on a farm with no electricity or indoor bathroom. She absolutely loved to get up in the middle of the night and use the outhouse (HA)! If she had it to go back she would finish college and become a nurse. Instead, her responsibility is so strong she quit college to help her parents out. Back then all you worried about was getting married and having kids. She says she was naive and if you ask mom she would say now “Don’t worry about the male species and have a goal”
Mom with her Aunt Mary, my Grandfather’s sister. Aren’t they beautiful?
Women Aren’t Worthy?
Her mother and my grandmother were tough. Grandma raised 5 kids in some very difficult times while helping my grandfather with farming. As daughters, we usually pattern after our moms. Moms says Grandma never thought of herself. My mom admits she thought it was bad to think of yourself and you weren’t worthy.
Mom and my daughter. Mom rarely missed our events growing up and takes every opportunity to be at the grandkids.
Mom always wanted to be in the barn and out with the animals. The strange thing is she lived in fear of saying the wrong thing to the male species. You see my Grandpa had a temper. He learned his temper from his father. He wouldn’t ever hurt anyone he would just have blow-ups. Mom would keep the peace, while I like to push the issue. Patterning, circumstances create us. My Grandfather was a good man and was so proud when he paid $1 for his first pig to start the family farm.
Grandpa’s mom passed when he was 6. His father had a temper and was an alcoholic trying to survive to raise little kids. Many times Grandpa went hungry and every day would take a biscuit with lard for his school lunch. Never did my Grandfather have a drop of alcohol. Typically my mom would tiptoe around Grandpa when he was angry. As she got older she started to talk back which scared her siblings on why would she do that!
Grandkids talk about how they never want to be disciplined by Grandma as she means business. They love their Grandma dearly and love being around her and having fun.
Follow the Man’s Opinion
My mom was a big daddy’s girl. She struggled every time she watched my Grandma crying. The most interesting things are to remember my mom appears to go along with the male’s opinion. Oh not always! When my mom was old enough to vote she went against my Grandfather’s opinion on who to vote for. She refused. Grandpa was so angry with my mom but she didn’t care and for months Grandpa wouldn’t talk to her.
Survival Mode as a Mom
My mom is the strongest person I know and when she is strong-headed about something you can’t change her and she can be vocal. My parents have been married for over 50 years. Their life struggles and accomplishments have been many. Raising 5 kids, a farm, and a full-time job but my mom as she calls it in survival mode. How many you are in survival mode and can relate? Daily it was a struggle on figuring out how to put food on the table.
Control Your Own Mood
If my parents went out she didn’t always enjoy it. Another piece of advice is not to let a man or anyone for that matter, control your mood. My father is great and in his early days, he set the mood. On Wednesday nights my dad bowled and sometimes my mom would go with him because that is what you did. She hated leaving her kids. While the men smoked and drank mom would wish she had was at home instead with her kids.
Mom loves football. When my brother’s played she had a reputation of waling the fence line up and down. Watching her grandkids is a delight. She even learned hockey and loves it!
Be You, Have No Regrets
Social norms, patterning, and that’s how we grew up control us sometimes. Instead of doing what you want at that a moment in life we go with what is normal and expected. My mom has no regrets. This fall she sat at a cold & rainy football tailgate with many friends and family and enjoyed every moment. She had a dream but to her, that dream changed into a better dream by marrying my dad and having 5 kids. Her family has grown and there is no other place she would rather be than with her family.
As women, we shouldn’t judge each other for how we live our life. It was okay for me to be different than my mom. Your life is your life so live it. A mother-daughter relationship is important. It’s also okay to think of your dreams outside of your husband and kids if you want. It’s important to take care of yourself or do something on your own. Mom, I love you so much and so grateful that you are in my life and the things you have taught me.
Mom’s advice to her younger self and other females
“ Have a goal”
My daughter, my dad and Mom. Christmas is My Mom’s Favorite Holiday